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My name is Lord Voldemort, I’m a Capricorn, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. (This is a lie). I am 84 years young (this is questionable as I’ve been dead since 1998). I currently reside in your Mom’s bed. I am the Heir of Slytherin and resident Dark Lord. Do not call me Tom. Things you should know: I HATE HARRY POTTER. Like, a lot. I hate everything he chooses to be. I hate the way he breathes. I hate the way he generally exists. I love snakes. They are sexy. Evil things make me happy. Killing and torturing people calms me down.  Oh, and I love a good game of Yahtzee. Favorite word: NYAHHHH Least favorite word: Nose Favorite color: Black Favorite band: Nickelback Favorite place: Hogwarts Favorite person: Draco Malfoy Favorite piece of clothing: Quirrell’s Turban Favorite movie: She’s All That That’s pretty much all you need to know. 

My name is Lord Voldemort, I’m a Capricorn, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. (This is a lie). I am 84 years young (this is questionable as I’ve been dead since 1998). I currently reside in your Mom’s bed. I am the Heir of Slytherin and resident Dark Lord. Do not call me Tom.

Things you should know: I HATE HARRY POTTER. Like, a lot. I hate everything he chooses to be. I hate the way he breathes. I hate the way he generally exists. I love snakes. They are sexy. Evil things make me happy. Killing and torturing people calms me down.  Oh, and I love a good game of Yahtzee.

Favorite word: NYAHHHH

Least favorite word: Nose

Favorite color: Black

Favorite band: Nickelback

Favorite place: Hogwarts

Favorite person: Draco Malfoy

Favorite piece of clothing: Quirrell’s Turban

Favorite movie: She’s All That

That’s pretty much all you need to know. 

Reblogged 5 months ago from in-pectore (Originally from voldemortoutbitches)
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Source: voldemortoutbitches
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    oh my god this is too funny
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    Favourite word xD
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    My name is Lord Voldemort, I’m a Capricorn, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women. And I did not...
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    The funniest About Me ever.
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